The Taiwanese publication of Kindling (titled ‘Emerald Boy’…I really like that…) is now available and, though I’m sure the literary translator did a fine job, the Google translation back into English of the TW version is pure comedic gold. Here’s a taste of Chapter One, originally written in Australian English, translated into Complex Chinese, then re-translated back into Google’s own warped vortex of the Queen’s tongue:
I pulled the door hard. 門鎖住了。 The door was locked. 理智衝破混亂的思緒，向我發聲： Break through the confusion of thoughts sensible to me voice:
他不可能在屋裡。 He can not in the house.
「基倫！」我大喊，手伸進口袋笨拙地摸索。 “Kieren!” I shouted, reached into his pocket awkwardly groping.
他沒有鑰匙。 He did not key.
「基倫！」 “Kieren!”
我開鎖、甩開門，手扒向電燈開關。 I lock, throw off the door, hand picking the light switch. 哪裡不對勁？ Wrong with you? 哪裡？ Where? 就算是再細微的變化也好──我在心裡祈禱。 Even subtle changes in re-Ye Hao ─ ─ I pray in my heart. 移動過的玩具？ Moved the toys? 扔在地上的抱枕？ On the floor of the pillow? 令他安心的小玩意兒有哪一樣不見了？ Make him feel at ease with which one small thing missing? 某樣東西、任何東西，只要能透露我兒子的蹤跡、移除哽在我喉頭的恐懼都好。 Something, anything, as long as my son said the trace, remove the fear of choking in my throat all good.
Yourperbole